


Newsflash

by SummerSniper



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:16:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerSniper/pseuds/SummerSniper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>FF7's answer to 24 hour news set shortly after Advent Children. Conspiracy theories and typical ratings obsessed news mongering abound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Newsflash

"…And in our feature story tonight, AVALANCHE. After the terrorist attacks of the last week in Edge, and the recently surfaced news out of Mideel of AVALANCHE leader Cloud Strife's suspected schizophrenia, some have come to wonder if this group of former terrorists are more of a danger than previously suspected. In this exclusive footage obtained by Channel 9 news, viewers can clearly witness displays of uncanny abilities and superhuman strength. And while the many benefits of materia have long been known, what the city of Edge has recently been witness to blows all previous theories of materialogical sciences out of the water. For more on this, here's Channel 9 correspondent Welton Gaddy on the scene."

 

"Thank you Maria. Right now, I am at the construction site of the Dition Hotel in decimated downtown Edge. Earlier this week, this was also the scene of wanton destruction and mayhem caused during a battle between AVALANCHE and what seems to be a summoning gone awry. As you can see, there are many bent support beams up and down the metal skeleton of this building. And while quite a few can be accounted by the summoned creature, not all of them can. This support beam right here, for example shows what seems to be stress from sudden contact with an object at high speed, believed to be caused by AVALANCHE member, Yuffie Kisaragi in conjunction to a previously unknown strain of Jump materia."

 

"Now, let me break in real quick here, Weldon, but isn't Yuffie Kisaragi the daughter of Godo Kisaragi, current ruler of Wutai?"

 

"You are correct, Maria. And considering such strong political connections to a country very recently at war with the Shinra, who have been well known to have conducted many experiments dealing with human evolution and advancement through mako energy, has given rise to suspicion behind the motivations of AVALANCHE members. Some have even found cause to believe AVALANCHE to be the product of Wutaian mako therapy created to compete with Shinra's own SOLDIER program."

 

"So, Wutaian super soldier terrorists?"

 

"That's right Maria. However, not only does Wutai's involvement not add up, suspicion has also been cast on AVALANCHE members Red XIII and Vincent Valentine. Red XIII being a ferocious cat-beast, is believed to be the early product of gene splicing of some form to create monsters with human capabilities, able to obey orders from humans yet retaining their animalistic strengths. There are many conflicting reports of similar creatures around the Cosmo Canyon, which many believe to be evidence supporting this theory, which also ties into interviews with AVALANCHE member Barrett Wallace, also of the Wallace Oil Conglomerate having been quoted to claim that AVALANCHE got its start in Cosmo Canyon. Finally we have Vincent Valentine, a man of which the only records relating to date back over thirty years ago to a Turk, who suddenly disappeared during a classified mission, and only recently reappeared as a member of AVALANCHE. Whether or not he was captured during a mission to Wutai has not been verified, but with this much evidence, it may be even more proof against the war crimes of Wutai and the nefarious creation of AVALANCHE. Back to you, Maria."

 

"Thank you, Welton. Next up, how one man made millions overnight selling Pet Materia! That's right, for only 395 gil each, Dahly Gar of Gongaga has been selling the latest pet sensa—"

 

*click*


End file.
